Free Robot Porn

Sorry, just a bit of a google experiment for the title. Let's see how many hits come from geeks searching for free robot porn. Free robot porn? Thats right, free robot porn, free robot porn, free robot porn. Anyway, on with todays rant.

SpongeBob Squarepants is Gay?

Alright, this really started, I guess, with Jerry Falwell, when he called one of the Tellytubbies gay. I simply shook my head, cursed the religious right with some bad juju-bees and let it be. Well, those crazy red-necks are at it again, this time accusing SpongeBob SquarePants of being gay. Wondeful. Just what we need. "Hey, everybody, we haven't scarred our kids enough this year, so lets pick an American pop-culture figure (who is slightly effeminate) and deem him Gay and evil! Huzzah!" Yeah, that's real nice, you gap-toothed, slack-mawed fuck-nails. Let's teach our kids to hate and discriminate based on behaviour. Gah! Here's a bit from and article:

On the heels of electoral victories to bar same-sex marriage, some influential conservative Christian groups are turning their attention to a new target: the cartoon character SpongeBob SquarePants.

"Does anybody here know SpongeBob?" Dr James Dobson, founder of Focus on the Family, asked guests on Tuesday at a black-tie dinner for members of Congress and political allies.

In many circles, SpongeBob needs no introduction. He is popular among children as well as adults who watch him cavorting under the sea on the Nickelodeon cartoon program that bears his name. In addition, he has become a well-known camp figure among adult gay men, perhaps because he holds hands with his animated sidekick Patrick and likes to watch the imaginary television show The Adventures of Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy.

Now, Dr Dobson said, SpongeBob's creators had enlisted him in a "pro-homosexual video", in which he appeared alongside other children's television characters. The makers of the video, he said, planned to mail it to thousands of schools this northern spring to promote a "tolerance pledge" that includes tolerance for differences of "sexual identity".

[New York Times BugMeNot]

Tolerance. One of the most misunderstood words in the English language. To tolerate something does not mean "accept it as your own." It does not mean "love it like your chlid." It simply means "put up with it." Tolerance is not a bad thing, although I find acceptance to be a little bit meatier... but I digress. I'm tolerant (for the most part) of the Christian Right. I sure as hell don't like it, but I'm tolerant of it. Now, you, Christian Right, should be teaching your kids tolerance, not hatred. [Warning: What follows is extremely intolerant!] Fuck you, you fuckin child-molesting back-fuckers! You're gonna get to Heaven and God's gonna be a black guy that talks with a lisp. He's gonna laugh, I'm gonna laugh, your head will explode, and then it's off to Hell with you, where you'll spend the rest of eternity being used as a profalactic for the thorny-cocked "Gulthub the Rampant". So fuck you, fuck your intolerant bullshit, fuck your "Holier-than-thou" attitude, and fuck your warping of a religion that preaches love and understanding into a religion that teaches mistrust and hate. On that note, here's how I believe a conversation between the Christian Right and I would go:

Christian Right: Are you the guy going around, cursing us for turning Christianity into a religion of hate?
Doc: That's right.
CR: Well you're a sinner and you're going straight to hell for your blasphamies.
Doc: Wonderful, but first, I need to introduce you to someone. Christian Right, these are My Nuts. My Nuts, Christian Right.
My Nuts: *whap-bam* TEABAGGED!

So, to reiterate, I don't like it when the Christian Right gets all uppity. Looks like we might need another Roman Persecution era... thin out your ranks a bit. Now don't get me wrong. I don't hate Christians that act like... well, like the Bible says they should. They're just annoying, but I tolerate them. It's the ones like Falwell and this closet choad-buffer James Dobson (doctor of my ass) that really make me want to charge in to a "Focus on the Family" meeting with a wiffle-bat filled with bees and just start WHACKIN' AWAY. Oh, and for those of you who would like to point out that I am being intolerant myself... shove a spoon up your ass, would you? Ig'nant motherfuckers.

Anyway, hope ya'll have a great weekend. The Deuce is loose!