Seriously...

My posts are coming at wider intervals, but my time has been taken up with something. I apologize non-the-less. Let's get to it.

George Bush is a brilliant idiot. Rather than take responsibility for a unjust war gone awry, a horrible lack of federal disaster planning, an abhorable foreign policy, and various other cluster-fucks, he has decided that his administration must strike at the core. He must eliminate, apparently, the source of all human suffering, the font of all evil, from which vile offal spews forth and pollutes the innocent, causing wars, poverty, and injustice. What is this horrid, atrocious thing he stalks valiantly, sword held high, chain armor glistening in the sun of glorious, righteous battle. What could it be? Evil, sayeth I, they name be... pornography? Wait, no, that can't be right... that's just ridiculous... let me read this press release again... well, shit on my chest and call me Susan. Huh.

Thats right folks, Bush is stalking pornography. According to The Washington Post, the FBI, under some pressure from Attorney General Alberto R. Gonzales, started recruiting agents for an anti-pornography task force. Now we're not talking about kiddie porn or snuff films or anything like that. No. Consenting adults having sex with other consenting adults being viewed by yet more consenting adults. You know, the sort of horrific stuff that causes you to involuntarily look to the sky every time the air-raid sirens go off...

Alright, this is fucking stupid. Recently served (with a shut-down notice) websites that purveyed in pornography include a short stories website (that included BDSM and water-sports kind of stuff) and NowThatsFuckedUp.com [VNSFW Link]. The owner/operator of NTFU.com was also arrested on obscenity charges, having 300 misdemeanors and one felony placed on him. He's in jail with bail set at more that $150,000. For porn. Now, to be honest, his website also included a number of photos of Iraqi and Afghani dead that soldiers sent in to gain free access to his porn. He didn't, I should note, ask for pictures of the dead, but pictures to prove that they were in the military, which could have included anything from scenery to self-shots. The shots of the, in some cases, mutilated dead has got everyone up in a tizzy, but he was not arrested for these. No, he was arrested for porn.
On a side note, I don't nescessarily object to the shots of the dead. What they need is to be sent to Bush, his entire cabinet, and every single person of voting age in the nation with a Post-It note attached. It should read the following:

Dear America,
This is what war looks like. This is what you have sent your sons and daughters into, and, if you voted for Bush, this is what you support.
-Have A Nice Day

Anyway, I digress. The world is full of some very nasty things indeed, some very horrid people who would like to do horrid things to you... however, generally speaking, pornographers are not these people. They want you to give them money and then they will show you two (or more) people going at it... and what's wrong with that? The Bush administration claims that it is protecting children, that pornography is a major danger to them. While I will agree that pornography is easier to get ahold of these days, and I wouldn't want my child seeing it until I thought they were developmentally ready, I don't think porn is to blame at all. What's to blame is the finger-pointing establishment that 20th and 21st century parenting has become. Everything else is to blame; the interwebs, the video games, the music, the television, the movies, the porn... it's not the parents. Nooooo... why would it be the parent's fault? They love their children enough to plop them down in front of the TV for hours at a time without monitoring what they're watching, or even discussing any programs that they saw, and if they have any questions about what they just watched. The parents care for them so much that they purchase games such as Grand Theft Auto: Vice City for their kids at the drop of the proverbial hat. There are plenty of games the kids could play that don't involve murdering rival gang members (I'm a big fan of the Sly Cooper series, myself.) Little Johnny doesn't need a guiding hand from his parents... no, he needs a computer with a DSL connection in his room. Now don't get me wrong, there is nothing wrong with any of these things if the children have a guiding force from their parents, someone reinforcing the fact the video game violence is completely fake, and that these things are incredibly harmful, or that the stuff they were just looking at on the computer is called sex... and here's what's involved. Parents, to paraphrase Chris Rock, need to be takin' care of their business. Mine did, and the only reason I'm warped is because I was the product of a wonderful artist and a highly-intelligent computer programmer that told me that thinking for myself was not a crime. (That kind of stuff warps your mind from certain perspectives...)

I'm wandering from my point a bit, but the jist of it is that it ain't the governments job to pull this kind of shit. If it's a threat to kids that doesn't involve having a military somewhere trying to kick another military's ass, or a pandemic of rickets or some shit, it should be the parent's job. And to be fair, there are still some parents out there that know how to handle their business, but for some reason or another, the stupid, self-absorped parents just seem to keep multiplying. I suggest some sort of passive eugenics program, or perhaps just a nice cock-punching of the fathers who don't take care of their shit. The long and the short of it is this: Don't take my porn away just because some ol' fuckin' bat doesn't like it, and screams "Think of the children!" Let me finish up first.

On another side note, BoingBoing.net [Link] alerted me to possibly the best obit ever. Theodore Roosevelt Heller, who was a soldier in WWII, asked that "In lieu of flowers, please send acerbic letters to Republicans." Awesome. [Link]