The Inevitable

You knew I was going to talk about the upcoming Presidential Debates, didn't you? Of course you did, because otherwise I would most likely label you as some sort of noob, or something along those lines.

Very well. First, allow me to say that I will not be watching the debates live, as I have a job (professional musician) which is nearly impossible to do if I watch TV at the same time. Besides, something tells me the bar isn't going to put it on their big screen anyway. *Sigh* I will have to resort to video taping it. I know this is a safe bet, and you may ask why, at which point I would be forced to slap my forehead in exasperation, and sigh loudly. "You see," I would probably begin my sentence, after I had thoroughly mocked and pummeled you, "it is because it's not actually a debate, so much as some sort of strange 'Cold-shoulder marital fight'." And it's sadly true, I'm afraid. The candidates agreed upon a 34 page document that was to contain rules for tonight's mockery ... er, "debate." One of the rules is that the candidates... are you ready for this (?)... they are not allowed to ask each other questions.

*blink**blink*

Yes, I know. My brain did the EXACT same thing when I first read that sentence. It spontaneously sprouted limbs, put in at the local gunshop for the purchase of a handgun, got horrendously frustrated by the waiting period, and simply cracked me in the back of the head with a baseball bat. Illogical as it may be, it's one of the rules. No questions may be asked by a debater directly to his opponent. They must go through the moderator. Wow.

Now, I'm going to try and say no more about it until I can actually watch the debate, simply to see if GW violates the "No leaving the podium" rule to go pick nits off the head of one of the moderators, or if John Kerry violates the "No Well-spoken Corpses" rule. I would, however, like to see a half-time visit from Ross Perot, just for old times sake.

Till tommorrow, then...

Housekeeping

First of all, let me say "Oi, vat a veek!" There. Now don't ask about it... ever.

Secondly, I would like to welcome Nathan Reyes to Ryan Boyle's weblog. Nathan, while small and wiley, is also intelligent, witty, charming, and only slightly shifty, due mostly to his mis-use of campaign funds on actual campaigning (that was our beer money, ass,) as well as his minor involvement in the Iran-Contra bit during the mid-eighties. However, everyone here at Brain Droppings and Other Goo wish to bid a warm welcome to Nathan. He'll stoke my fire, I'll stoke his fire, we'll have a cigarette, maybe a Diet Mr. Pibb, and then back to the stoking. It's gonna be great.

Boyle, you rock rock on.

We got the funk, baby.

Wednesday night, I had the extreme pleasure of going to the House of Blues in Chicago (or as George Carlin calls it, "the House of Lame White Muthafuckas"), to see George Clinton and Funkadelic, who are decidely not lame white muthafuckas. The show was funky as hell from the get go, and I really dug every damn minute of it. I have to give props to my buddy Ryan Boyle, who gave me notification of the upcoming show, and then sprung for tickets. I was glad to see him and his whitebread co-workers there, shakin their respective groove-thangz, albiet slightly off-tempo. But it really doesn't matter, for "If you free your mind, your ass will follow."

Anyway, so George Clinton is known for jamming into the late night hours, and not leaving until the concert hall/arena pulls the plug. I, myself, had never seen this, and I was interested/groovified. Boyle and his work buddies slowly slipped out, one by one, along with a large number of the crowd, until the crowd consisted of me and 50 of my closest "friends" jamming out with George at two in the morning. By then, the Funkadelics didn't give a damn, and just brought a bunch of hot chicks up on stage, to grind and bump, and generally give me one helluva hard-on. Damn, it was hot. Anyway, so they get the chicks off-stage (I don't know WHY), and then jam the night out, including a 25-30 minute rendition of "Whole Lotta Shakin' Goin On," that ended with the stage crew taking away George Clinton's Microphone, as he had continued to sing after they unplugged the amplifiers. Even then, the drummer was still going, and the keyboard player came out with a microphone and was fending off a few stage hands, while getting the crowd to chant "We Want The Funk," which we did willingly. They only stopped after the curtain was closed, and even then, the keyboard player kept talking to the audience. It was awesome.

But now I'm off to go get drunk, as it is a Friday, and I am both young AND stupid (and virile, if you're keeping track.) Peace!

There really is no excuse.

Now, before I express my opinion on the particular subject I have chosen today, I would like to point out to my audience that I homeschooled for a large portion of my education. My view of the current schooling method adopted by the public and parochial schools is horrid, at best. However, different children learn in different manners, etc, so I believe schools have their uses. However, one thing still bugs me:

Teacher salary negotiations.

The phrase sends shivers of non-comprehension up my spine. Why, oh why, are you fucking about, trying to pay as little as possible to the people who are educating your children? Why? Can someone please explain this to me? It seems to me that if you want the children of the world to be educated, you have to pay for that. Now I dig the private school vs. public school debate, but that doesn't change the fact that public schools are generally horribly underfunded, and that's just God-awful. People complain about kids being stupid, etc, but then they are unwilling to fork over a bit more in tax money to help these kids get a quality education, so that they can stop fucking up. I mean... c'mon now, have a little common sense, and some damn civic sense, for once. You fucking people are screwing it up. I pay my taxes, and I'll continue to vote for every increase that involves teachers getting paid more, or getting more vacation, or *gasp* getting help with their medical insurance.

Now, this particular topic came about today as I was getting a cup of coffee at the local gas station. Kevin, the owner, is very good about allowing differing opinions in his station, and will often post handouts in his store, often time putting opposing sides right next to each other. I saw a flyer in his station decrying the fact that District 50, the local school district, was going to attempt to pass another tax raise, in order to A) Pay the teachers more; B) Help them out a little more with their medical insurance, C) Obtain more funding for some District activites, etc. Well, the last bill they tried to pass to get the school more funding failed, although it was a very heated debate in this city, evoking several firey editorials from both myself and my father, and causing my sister to stage a "sit-in" (remember those, hippies?) at her High School in support of the bill. Unfortunately, there are more people in this town that understand money rather than rational thought, so it failed, but only by the skin of it's teeth. I'll be DAMNED if that's going to happen this time. So why am I writing to you, the folk who almost certainly live outside Illinois' D-50? Because I'm sure shit like this is going down by you, and you need to be aware of it. Teachers work very hard, and they get rewarded by being shat upon by the general taxpaying public, who refuse to pay $300 more a year on their $150,000 house. And to those who disagree with my opinion as stated here, let it be known that I am a fair man, and will listen with an open-mind to your arguement... on every issue but this one. You're wrong, now sit on it and give those teachers some fuckin' cash, bitches.

Now then, where did I put my hanger and lighter?

Huh....

Well, it appears I am single again, in a very odd manner. I've always been involved in a break-up, whether messy or not. There was no break-up here, simply no communications for nearly two months. I can take a hint, don't think I can't... so I'm thinking it's done, which is a bummer. Oh well, what are you going to do?

To quote a funny comedian whom I like, Louis CK, "Being single is a mix of loneliness and euphoria. It's, like, loneliness right before you go to bed at night... and euphoria the rest of the damn day."

Amen.

A sad year for music

It's been a sad year for musicians this year, with the deaths of greats like Ray Charles, Rick James, Illinois Jacquet, film scorers Elmer Bernstein and Jerry Goldsmith, Jan Berry (of Jan and Dean), and just today, the deaths of both Donald Leslie and Ernie Ball. Now, for any musicians out there, especially guitar players, the name Ernie Ball will immediately ring a bell. Ernie Ball is one of the most prolific string manufacturers in the world, and it's products are used by profesional musicians worldwide (including myself. Ernie Ball Super Slinkys on my '65 Kingston.) Ernie Ball died today, at the age of 74, in his home in San Luis Obispo, California.

His strings and instruments were used by music stars over the past four decades, from B.B. King to Metallica. Beginning with a small music shop in the San Fernando Valley, Ball built a business with annual sales of $40 million and a worldwide reputation. Along the way, he bucked traditional thinking in the music business.

``He changed the way people thought of guitar accessories, and how they sold and marketed them, and to this day the Ernie Ball way is the industry standard,'' his son, Sterling Ball, said in a statement.
[ Gaurdian Unlimited]

While the name Ernie Ball may quickly be recognized, the name of Donald Leslie may not be, but his invention, the Leslie Rotating Speaker, or Leslie Cabinet, as it is more frequently referred to, is a sound that all music fans have heard. It's the rotating speaker cabinet that gives all electric organs, specifically Hammonds, that cool, groovy, jazzy tone that we have all come to love. Both these heavy musical pioneers will be sorely missed.

I hope that a whole slew of young lions keeps on innovating, both with music, but also with the technology that goes into making music. It's the only thing that's gonna keep us alive, cause Britney Spears sure ain't gonna do it.

Now, to my overall point... which escapes me right now. Ahh well, it's almost 5, I think Blaise and I'll go have a pint for Ernie and Don.

Cause Britney Spears sure ain't gonna do it...