Who shot who in the what now?

Let the bitching and congratulating begin. First off, my buddy Keith Rose came up last night for a hard night of drinking... which is just what it was. I haven't gotten that drunk that quickly in quite awhile. I also ended the night by... visiting my friendly toliet, shall we say? However, the night was fun, and we had a damn good time. In fact, he may still be asleep on my couch right now, although most likely not at the time of posting.

Which, for some reason, brings another topic to my mind. Now I'm not sure if I'm just farting in the wind here, but I feel the need to explain and justify my use of the triple-period dealie (Whats it's real name may be, I don't know.) I use it for a sort of pause, whether it be dramatic or comedic. They should be read as if I was talking to you, and those are pauses, where I may be insterting some sort of facial expression for emphasis. So, if there was any doubt about what those things are used for, I hope I have expelled it. Page 2.

Consider this a warning to everyone in the world. I will most likely insult you on this page. There is a high chance that I will even mention you by name, and publicly ridicule you, giving them a verbal depantsing in front of the entire readership. Just as I have been publicly ridiculed by others, so shall you.
Deal with it.
If there is something that I have said here that you disagree with, or are angry about, or just want to comment on, do just that. Use the comments section to let me know if I've stepped over the line, or whatever. And please, PLEASE, don't take heavy offense to anything I say here. 99 times out of 100, if I'm posting something here, I'm just busting your chops. So don't get all uppity about it. Bitch.

And now for something completely different. It was nice seeing Johnny T over the weekend. For those of you who may not know, Johnny T is a good buddy of mine who left for California, about 6 months ago. He's working for Raytheon, and having a good time, from what I hear, which is cool. Anyway, so, as I've said, it was good to see him, we always have a good time together, but frankly, he can go screw himself. Why, you may ask, would I say that about such a good friend of mine?
Because he mocked my mustache.
Now I don't litterally mean that he can go fuck off, and I never want to see him again, yadda yadda yadda. He can just kiss the greasiest part of my ass, is all. Now, for those of you who may be out of the loop when it comes to my facial hair, you're not missing much. However, I am currently sporting what may be dubbed "The Hitler", I, however, prefer to call it "The Chaplin." Now, it's not only the mustachelet, there is also a small, inline goatee beneath it, so it's not like I just have the mustache. Most people don't even really notice it... but Johnny mocked it. Ergo, he can kiss my ass. Seeems simple enough.

Well, I'm going to stop writing now. I've got something really heavy weighing on my mind right now, and I would love to write about it. However, given the situations that have unfolded with previous comments, I'd rather not hork this guy off again by arguing in a public forum what should be a public matter, but probably won't be. So, rather than do all that, I'm going to go take out my anger on some lawn gnomes. They'll never see it coming...

Poor bastards...